Call Me Crazy, But You Might Find The Person Of Your Dreams Online
The Ins & Outs Of Online Dating
When performing psychic readings for clients the number one topic I am asked about is about relationships. For both men and women the ins and outs of relationships seem to allude us. If my client happens to be in a relationship we typically focus on problems with their partner or mate. If he or she isn’t in a relationship I am often asked , “Where can I meet Mr. or Mrs. Right?”
My suggestion to meeting someone new, especially for my over 40 clientele, is to try online dating. “Why would I want to do that?” Or “Do I seem that desperate that I have go online to find someone?” are often the first responses I get back.
Where do you go to meet the man of woman of your dreams? I don’t know about you, but I’m not interested in looking for “the man of my dreams” at a bar. I have never been asked for my phone number at the supermarket, a concert or a trade show. And even if I were asked, I don’t know if I would readily provide it to a complete stranger.
Why Try Online Dating
There are a number of great reasons to try online dating. First off, you can do it from the comfort of your own home. Next, there is anonymity. You don’t have to give out your name, your location or any personal information. (We will talk more about this and other online dating safety points a little later on). Online dating provides you with the opportunity to get to know a person and create some kind of rapport before you ever meet in person. It is a great way to meet members of the opposite sex if you are bashful or gun-shy about getting involved with someone new. It also gives you an opportunity to try a new relationship on for size and see how it fits. If it doesn’t work for you, you can move on.
If you decide to give online dating a spin, here are a few pointers to begin. First, decide what you want. Do you only want to date casually or are you looking for a long termed relationship? You may have chosen to look online because you are only interested in experiencing short termed intimate encounters. It doesn’t matter what you want, but it is important to know what you are looking for before you begin.
After identifying your dating needs it is time to find your first dating site. Match.com or E-Harmony.com are not the only fish in the preverbal dating sea. There are large number of sites you can choose from, some free, others are fee based. Each site has its own tone and timbre. Look around the site to see if it is somewhere you want to be.
Online Dating Safety & Protocol
Before signing up for any site, for safety’s sake, create a new/ separate Yahoo or Gmail email account. This will further protect your anonymity. In order to give potential mates an idea of who you are, you will be asked to create a personal profile. Only post information you feel comfortable exposing to the general public. Remember, anyone on the site can read what you have posted. Be perky and upbeat as you describe yourself. Talk about what you want. Be specific. Post the positive not the negative. There is nothing wrong with posting a deal-buster, but if all you talk about is what you don’t want, you might turn away potential suitors.
All sites will also ask you to post a picture of yourself. Please, please, please, use a real picture. There is nothing worse than meeting someone only to find out they have posted a Victoria’s Secret or Chippendales picture on the site to represent themselves. Just as bad, is posting a picture that is 20 or 30 year old of yourself. It doesn’t represent who you are. If, down the road, you do choose to meet someone you have been taking to online, there is nothing worse than the look of surprise or perhaps disappointment on their face when they meet you in person.
Not All Online Dating Sites Are Alike
Once you have your profile up, explore the site. Do searches for individuals in your area. Read their profiles. Have fun. Talk to the people who contact you. Reach out and contact people who seem at first glance interesting. They don’t know who you are, so enjoy just being yourself.
One thing you will quickly find out is that not all dating sites are the same. On one site you might get inundated with “hits” from potential suitors . On another, you might not get any or only a few. Some sites might have a lot of members but not many in your geographical area. Other sites, the majority people you do encounter might be creepy, offensive or want more than you are willing to give. With that said, be open to posting your information on more than one dating site. As they say, location, location, location.
One of the great things about this type of dating is that if someone writes to you and your skin curls, you don’t have to respond to their inquiry. In the same way, if they start off nice and the conversation quickly changes in a direction which makes you feel uncomfortable, such as they ask for money or profess their undying love for you within the first few emails, you can quickly cut off communication. Many dating sites give you the option to block another other person from communicating with you thus eliminating any problems you may encounter.
Taking Your Online Date To The Next Level
So let’s say things are going good. You are enjoying your conversations with your new friend. Then what? If you want, you can take it to the next level. Perhaps it is time to talk over the phone. How any of this moves forward is all up to you. You can pace it however fast or however slow you want or need. If the person you are talking to doesn’t like the pace you have picked, oh well, move on. They were probably not right for you in the first place.
Here are few safety tips when talking about phones. I have known a number of women who have purchased disposable cell phones just for this purpose. By using the disposable phone they weren’t giving out either their home or primary cell phone numbers. In turn, if you are conversing with someone who refuses to make phone contact after you have established a good online rapport, this could be an indication that he or she may be married or may have another significant relationship in their lives.
Things seem to be moving forward nicely and you are ready for the big first meeting. To ensure your safety, here are some other safety tips you should consider.
Preparing For Your First Date
Probably the most important piece of advice here is to always meet for the first time in a public place. Never have them pick you up at home, thus disclosing where you live. Instead, drive your own car to the meeting. This will give you the opportunity to leave if you feel uncomfortable or if things don’t go as planned.
I like to suggest meeting at a Starbucks. One, there are millions of them all around the country. Two, a latte cost under $5.00. Three, if you are not having fun a $5.00 drink will not leave you feeling obligated to stay or pay in more ways than one.
It is also a good idea to make sure a friend or a family member knows where you are going and what you are planning. If you change your plans, always let someone know. Some women I know will have their friend call shortly after the commencement of the meeting. This does two things. It will let your friend know you are safe and sound. Sadly, that phone call can also be used as an excuse to cut the date short and exit quickly stage left.
If you do find yourself in a long distance relationship and decide to meet in person, here are a few things to consider. If you fly, rent a car at the airport. Whether you fly or drive, make your own hotel reservation and keep its location to yourself. Once you are in town, meet at a public location as described earlier. If the meeting doesn’t go well, the privacy you afforded yourself can provide you with a safe haven.
Online Dating Is The Next Best Thing To Being There
Hopefully your first date will turn into one of many and you will live the rest of your life happily with your new found friend. If that is not the case, it is not the end of the world. As they say, some will, some won’t, move on.
Using an online dating site isn’t dating itself. It is, however a great way to connect with others. It can give you the freedom and flexibility to be who you are and the opportunity to get to know someone before you ever set eyes upon them. So if you are looking for a special someone, give online dating a try. You will have nothing to lose.