What Does It Feel Like To Be Happy: Happiness 101

How To Experience Happiness Every Day Of Your Life

You may wonder, what is happiness and what does it feel like to be happy?  It seems like a simple question but many people do not even consider whether they are happy or not.  Everyone says they want to be happy but are they?  We have all been promised that one day, when we are all grown up we will somehow be happy.  All we need do is sit back and one day we will magically feel it in our lives.  But what is this magical feeling? 

Happiness is not a one-sized fits all proposition.  What makes one person happy may not make another person happy and this is where the confusion lies.  There are two aspects to happiness, a feeling/emotional aspect and an internal state of mind.

Happiness As A Feeling State 

Happiness, for some, can come from feelings of joy, excitement, awe, contentment or bliss.  You get a new job, buy a new car or start a new relationship. These emotions are usually intense and short lived.  While these events may make you feel happy in the moment, they do not necessarily create long-termed happiness in your life.  True, deep seated, real happiness is more than a fleeting emotion.  It is something that can be cultivated so that we can have more of it in our daily lives.

Cultivate Happiness?  What Does That Mean?

We might be misled if we only look to our emotional space and our fleeting feelings as our gauge of happiness.  Everyone experiences a range of emotions.  We might feel happy, sad, silly, frustrated and more, depending on our life circumstances.  But these transitory emotions come and go throughout our day.  If what you are seeking is true happiness, then you need not look in a drawer or in a closet or into the eyes of another.  You will never find happiness there. 

Long termed happiness is a state of mind.  This kind of happiness comes from a combination of having positive emotions and the feeling that our life matters in some way.  We might site being at peace with our self, having a secure, enjoyable job, engaging in fun activities or having a good circle of friend as the basis or our happiness.  We might derive happiness by pursuing our dreams or making an impact in the world. 

Want More Happiness, Choose Being Happy

If you really want to experience more happiness in your life, then the first step to achieving it is by choosing to be happier.  No one is ever 100% happy every day of their lives.  We all experience challenges in life that threaten our happiness.  People who experience the most happiness are people who work at being happy.  They spend time evaluating their mood, monitoring their minds and making decisions with THEIR happiness in the forefront. 

With this choice in hand, they can then employ strategies for achieving it.  Is it work?  Yes, it is work.  It requires action on our part.  But the only way to get more out of life is by putting more into it.  It is through our connection with ourselves and our own truth that we will ever be truly happy.

Happiness & Trauma

People who have experience long-termed or severe trauma in their lives might be more challenged at finding or experiencing happiness.  These individuals may have issues with emotional regulation or an overactive fight, flight, freeze or fawn stress response system.  The adverse conditions they have gone through often conditions them to look at life through a lens of anxiety and worry. 

They may spend much of their time worrying about the future or ruminating about their past.  Their minds might be filled with memories of all the bad things that have ever happened to them.  Their trauma may also cause them to develop ‘cherophobia’.  Cherophobia is a belief that if something good happens to you, it is only a matter of time before a bad event will occur, canceling out any happiness that might be experienced.

Trauma survivors often live in this state for so long that they end up seeing unhappiness as normal.  They really do not know any other way of interacting with the world or navigating their lives.  Living and experiencing a life filled inner peace and happiness is totally unfamiliar territory and one that often seems elusive to them.  

Happiness is attainable even for these individuals. 

How To Find Happiness

Find Happiness By Paying Attention To Your Inner World

You might be wondering by now what you can do to change yourself and your life so that you experience the happily ever after.  There are a number of different things you can try.  All it requires is a little effort on your part, some time and a bit of loving patience.  It is like breaking an old habit and creating new, healthy one to live by.

One of the biggest things that affects our ability to be happy is our chronic negative thoughts.  This might seem unachievable right now, but it is possible to break out of negative cycles of thinking and live a happier existence.  This can be done by being mindful of our inner world and shifting our perspective.  This practice can ultimately change our pattern of our thinking from one of lack and negativity to one of one of peace, serenity and happiness. 

We cannot change what we are not aware of and if your negative emotions are in control, then you are not.  Paying attention to our thought patterns affords you the opportunity to modify them.  It is alright if your efforts are less than successful at first.  With just a little practice it will become easier and easier to achieve.

Find Happiness By Learning How To Emotionally Regulate

We are emotionally dysregulated when our negative thoughts and emotions are out of control.  We may find ourselves living in a deep dark hole of despair, anxiety and anguish.  There are a number of simple things you can do to help calm your body and mind down and better navigate the rollercoaster going on inside.  We are one step closer to being happy when we do.

Find Happiness By Breathing

Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system.  The parasympathetic nervous system, when activated, causes our heart rate to drop and lowers our blood pressure.  It can bring the body back into a state of calm and relaxation.

Find Happiness By Meditating

Meditation is not as hard as you might imagine.  The simple act of closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths can do wonders to shift your inner world.  Meditation has long been known to calm anxiety and help to refocus your inner world. 

Find Happiness By Exercising 

Regular exercise also reduces stress.  A good workout can act as a form of meditation which can help shake off what is bothering you.  Even if you only go out and rake leaves, wash the dishes or go for a walk, these activities can help you break free from negativity and regain your happiness.

Find Happiness By Smiling

The simple act of smiling makes us happier.  Smiling stimulates the release of the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin.  These feel good hormones promote feelings of joy, confidence, happiness, and an overall sense of well-being. 

Find Happiness By Being Grateful 

You can also choose to shift your focus from all of the bad things that are going on and look at your life from a place of gratitude.  When you express gratitude, you take the time to notice and reflect upon all of the good things happening to you.  It can help refocus your mind from a state of lack, to a place of feeling happy and satisfied.  Gratitude allows you to celebrate the present while replacing negative emotions that can interfere with your enjoyment of life.  It only takes moments to reflect upon the blessing in your life. 

Find Happiness By Finding Your Bliss

Having a goal, or something to work toward, boosts our feelings of self-worth when we achieve it.  It can make us feel good and bring about feelings of happiness and bliss.  It gives us something to look forward to which helps improve our satisfaction with life in general.  This includes doing things for ourselves.  Simple acts like taking ourselves out for a cup of coffee or slipping into a hot bath can increase our satisfaction with life.

Try to do something fun at least once a week.  As you begin this practice, a part of your psyche may start yelling at you that there is so much that needs to get done and might wonder why are you wasting your time doing this or that.  Acknowledge this aspect of yourself.  Become mindful of it.  Whose voice are you hearing as you listen to it talking to you?  Then love yourself even more by taking care of and fulfilling your dreams.  After a while these disapproving voices will fall off into the background and no longer bother you.

How Will I Know If I am Happy Yet?

So how can you tell if you have arrived?  How can you know if you are living a happier existence or even heading in the right direction?  One of the first things you will notice is the absence of negative thoughts.  This does not mean, as you begin working on yourself, that you will not have moments where you find yourself going down the emotional rabbit hole. 

What you will find, as you start a program of paying attention to your thoughts and deeds, that these moment will lessen or the intensity the experience decreases.  You may find that you are able to free yourself from negative thinking in a few moments or hours instead of spending days trapped in a cycle of worry or rumination.  This might seem small, but in hindsight it might also represent huge progress. 

You might also find yourself spending more time in a calm, relaxed and not a neurotic place.  You might feel lighter or as if the sun is shining brighter in the sky.  Each of these are indications that you are making progress and as a result, spending more time feeling happy.  And isn’t that the point…  to feel happy?

Ready To Start Being Happy?

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