The Psychology of Resentment: A Naturopathic Guide to Forgiveness and Emotional Healing

Forgiveness Sets Us Free From Anger And Resentment

There is much anger in the world today.  We are angry at our government.  We’re pissed off about the cost of food, the price of gas, the unprecedented levels of increasing governmental control and the state of our healthcare system. I’m sure you can add many more items to this short list, but in the end, many if not all of these things can make you experience anger, frustration and perhaps more.  These pent up feeling, over time, can solidify and we can find ourselves full of rage, hatred, smoldering with resentment or paralyzed by trauma. You might not want to hear this but Psychology Today suggests forgiveness is key to emotional healing from anger and resentment.

Resentment VS Anger

The Cleveland Clinic on resentment suggests that it is not the same as anger.  Anger is a typically a short lived emotion which is natural and survival oriented.  Anger often starts off as an aggravation, irritation or frustration.  We can experience anger when someone gets our parking place or pulls in front of us on the freeway.  Resentment on the other hand can be much more.

Resentment has been compared to holding on to a burning ember with the intention of throwing it at someone else.  Unfortunately all we end up doing is burning ourselves.  When we feel resentful, we feel the pain of the past over and over again.  It not only takes a toll on our emotional well-being, it can negatively impact our physical health as well.

How Resentment Affects Your Health

Resentment works on the body and mind twenty-four hours a day.  Chronic resentment isn’t just a mental loop; it is a Somatic Manifestation of stress. When we hold onto anger, our HPA Axis remains in a state of hyper-arousal, flooding the system with Cortisol. Over time, this leads to Systemic Inflammation and what I call Energetic Stagnation in the heart and liver meridians.

The amount of mental, emotional and physical energy required for us to stuff these feelings and keep them at bay is astronomical.   When we do, we can be left feeling obsessive, angry and depressed.

According to the American Psychological Association can have an impact on your health. Chronic anger and resentment can increase blood pressure and weaken immune function, impacting overall health and our ability to ward off diesease.  Likewise, The Mayo Clinic also addresses health concerns tied to resentment, noting that ongoing stress from resentment can lead to headaches, fatigue, and muscle pain. It can disrupt our brain waves impacting our ability to think clearly and make good decisions.  It can also distress our muscular-skeletal systems producing headaches, stomach aches, muscle and joint pain and dizziness.  

Physical Signs of Pent-Up Resentment

• Cardiovascular Strain: Elevated resting heart rate and blood pressure.
• Muscle Tension: Often localized in the jaw (TMJ), neck, and shoulders.
• Digestive Distress: Chronic “gut-wrenching” feelings or IBS-like symptoms.
• Sleep Disturbances: Difficulty falling asleep due to “resentment looping.

The Unseen Aspect Of Resentment

There is another huge implication that is often overlooked when you talk about resentment.  When we are resentful, we are giving individuals and situation power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.  

And the truth is, the other person involved in the situation isn’t hurting at all, only we are. 

Forgiveness Can Free Us From Anger And Resentment

Hard as this may be to hear, the only way of moving past feelings of anger and resentment is to forgive.  Many of us don’t want to bring forgiveness into our lives because we believe we are letting the parties involved get away with something.  

This can set us on a path of bitterness and revenge or we may try to let it go and forget it.  Many times we can succeed in burying our memories of hurt or anger but they are still affecting us.  These memories sit just below the surface waiting to rear their ugly heads. 

Why Forgiveness Matters

And so while we may not be thinking about them, they are still there taking a toll on us physically, mentally and emotionally. When we forgive, according to Harvard Health, we experience a number of benefits. It can lower our anxiety and depression, freeing us from this emotional burden.

The Bioenergetics of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is more than a moral choice; it is a Biological Necessity. In Naturopathic medicine, we understand that the body cannot heal in a state of ‘fight or flight.’ By choosing to forgive, you are effectively signaling your nervous system to shift from Sympathetic (stress) to Parasympathetic (healing) mode. This shift allows for Cellular Regeneration and the restoration of your body’s natural Homeostasis. You aren’t just letting someone off the hook; you are letting your cells breathe again.

What Is Forgiveness?

• Forgiveness is not forgetting. If we are wounded deeply enough to require forgiveness, we may always have a memory of it.
• Forgiveness is not Excusing or condoning. What happened should never be denied, minimized, or justified.
• Forgiveness is not Reconciling. We can forgive the offender and still choose not to have or reestablish a relationship.
• Forgiveness is not Weakness.  It is not about becoming a doormat or oblivious to cruelty.

Forgiveness is about giving up the resentment we hold against someone and letting go of our burning desire to punish them.  The goal of forgiveness is to let go of our hurt so we can begin to fill our lives with positive thoughts and begin directing our energy forward again.  Research from the Greater Good Science Center on forgiveness research shows that forgiveness reduces stress and improves mental well-being.

Forgiveness Is Not Excusing

There is one thing that I think it is critical to understand…

When we forgive someone, it does not absolve them from responsibility for what they have done.  It does not excuse them.  It simply frees us from being affected in harmful ways.

So as you embark on the road to forgiveness, here are a few points I think it is important to consider:

Realize you are ultimately responsible for your own feelings and for healing the hurt that is going on inside of you.  Understand that love is what you ultimately want for yourself,  from yourself.  Be aware that forgiving is a courageous act.  It has nothing to do with whether the other person can admit they are wrong, use it instead to liberate yourself.

How To Heal From Anger: A Healing Process

• Be willing to do what it takes to forgive. 
• A simple way to begin is to read other people’s stories of forgiveness. 
• Become mindful of when your thoughts move to anger and resentment and return to the present moment.
• Psychology Today suggests journaling and mindfulness to aid the forgiveness process.
• Take a class on forgiveness or go work with a therapist. 
• All of these things can begin healing the deep emotional wounds within you. 

Confront Your Emotional Pain

Be open to the fact that some of these wounds may be tied to past hurts going back as far as your childhood.  Recognize that the situations may have been very unfair, but it is time let go of being a victim and regain your power.

Let Go Of Expectations And Release Resentment

Become aware of all the “should’ve” in your thinking and speaking such as:

• He shouldn’t have done this to me.
• She shouldn’t act that way.
• He should have known better.

Decide To Forgive By Accepting The Lessons Involved.

Even if this decision is half-hearted at first, it will probably lessen your hurt and anger immediately.  View  this situation as an opportunity for healing and growth.   See what the situation has revealed to you and be open to facing up to our part in a situation and accept it..  Be grateful of the opportunity to discover an area in your psyche which needed healing.

Ask yourself:

• What have I learned from this event?
• Has some form of attachment to a belief caused me this pain?
• If so, what belief or beliefs were involved?

A Final Note On Anger, Resentment & Forgiveness

And I will say this again because it is so important…Understand that forgiveness does not condone or approve harmful acts.  In the same breath, forgiveness does not mean we have to allow ourselves to be abused.  We are forgiving the doer, not the doing.

So while you might find your self feeling bitter and full of hatred, now more than ever is the time to forgive.  We as a people can’t exist in an environment filled with anger and resentment.   But together we can shift the energy on the planet and create a world of peace. 

As John Lennon would say:  “give peace a chance”.

Need Help Overcoming Anger And Resentment?

As a Medical Intuitive, when I scan the human Aura, resentment often appears as a dense, dark energy localized around the solar plexus or heart. My work involves identifying these ‘energetic hooks’—the connections we maintain with those who hurt us—and helping you systematically release them to restore your vitality

Join me every Thursday at 7:00 p.m. Central on YouTube at Just Energy Radio for Thursday Night Live, where we explore and share transformative strategies. Connect with a vibrant, loving community. Use it to release the old, embrace the new, and create a life filled with clarity, joy, and profound possibility. Your transformation begins now—take that first step today!

About The Author

Dr. Rita Louise is a Naturopathic Physician who specializes in medical intuition. She has over 30 years of clinical experience in holistic wellness and trauma recovery. She is the founder of the Institute of Applied Energetics and a bestselling author of seven books on health, healing, psychology and the human experience. Dr. Louise holds a PhD in Natural Health Counseling and is a recognized expert in the mind-body connection. Her work focuses on patient advocacy and empowering individuals through informed health choices. Connect with Dr. Rita’s research on Substack or explore her clinical services at SoulHealer.com.

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Medical Disclaimer:This article is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Use of this site does not create a doctor-patient relationship.